2019 book roundup

Seeing as the original intent of this blog was books, here's my yearly roundup for faves and least faves for the year. This year, I was intentional in not continuing with books whose themes were too risqué or which had too much foul language. I also tried to stay away from mediocrity, so there were a LOT of books I abandoned fairly quickly. I've broken down my favorites into non-fiction and fiction while my least favorites are all jumbled together. All titles are linked to Amazon.

• Non-Fiction Favorites
1. Becoming - Michelle Obama
• I don't care where you stand politically; her story was really interesting. I also like how she's recently made remarks about her friendship with W being more about their love for people and less about politics. I listened to this on Audible, and she's the reader - which was fab. However, I had to have the speed at 1.75 because she talks very slowly.
2. Road Back to You - Ian Morgan Cron, Suzanne Stabile
• If you've had any conversations with me, you know I am OBSESSED with the enneagram. It fascinates me that there are driving forces within our relationships, and I have learned tons about myself by studying it. This book was the best of the ones I read (#enneagram1 pun intended) at explaining the different types in friendly language as well as talking about what healthy and unhealthy types look like.
3. The Rock, The Road, & The Rabbi - Kathie Lee Gifford
• We all know KLG is a bit kookoo for cocoa puffs at times, but this was a really interesting read about her journey to the Holy Land. It really made me want to go even more, and it provided a lot of scriptural insight. I learned a lot about how the story of redemption is a background theme all throughout the Bible, even more so than I was already aware.
4. What is a Girl Worth? - Rachael Denhollander
• This was a tough, tough read but oh so important. Rachael was the whistleblower on Larry Nassar, and she chronicled the way she was chastised - even within her church. It was heartbreaking, but I appreciated her bravery. I have since followed her on twitter, and she works really hard for victims, which I love.
5. Hillbilly Elegy - J.D. Vance
• J. D. grew up in rural Ohio and eventually went on to graduate from Yale Law. To be honest, I don't remember all of the specifics of this because it was one I finished early in the year, but I loved hearing it read by the author. A movie has already begun production directed by Ron Howard, so you know that will be good.
• Fiction Favorites 
1. The Escape Room - Megan Goldin
• This was all kinds of twisty, windy, thrilling nuts. It captivated me from the outset, and I finished it in about 3 days - during the school year, not the summer. Goldin developed some characters who appeared to be waifs but who were ultimately brutal. Imagine Panic Room with some Gone Girl flair. The lengths the heroine went through were mind boggling and very Amy Dunne-esque. This was by far the best thing I read this year. It will be one I add to my personal library.
2. The Wife Between Us - Greer Hendricks, Sarah Pekkanen
• I don't want to give away the plot here, but it is very much a she said / she said situation told in alternating chapters between two of a certain man's wives. The epilogue left me astounded. I am quite sure I screamed "WHAT?" in the car when Julia Whalen (yes, I know my preferred audio book readers by name) concluded it.
3. An Anonymous Girl - Greer Hendricks, Sarah Pekkanen
• Another interesting thriller from the same pair. This was also told in alternating narrators about a therapist and a young girl who signs up to be a part of a psychological story. The first part left me largely confused, but the second half was particularly enjoyable when things started to click. I would read this again.
4. The Gifted School - Bruce Holsinger
• The title is exactly that - a school for the best and the brightest of the whitest town in Colorado is set to open and the claws come out. This was a fast read, but there were a lot of characters to siphon through, and a lot of viewpoints to sort out. Thankfully the chapters were relatively short so it helped the plot move more quickly.
5. Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen
• It took me until the ripe age of nearly 33 to read this one. I have watched the BBC miniseries (better than the Kiera Knightley movie IMO) and didn't really understand the "Darcy is a romantic" mindset. But I finally listened to the entire book, and now I understand I am Darcy. I got the entire works of Jane Austen for Christmas, and I am most excited.
• Least Favorites
1. Jo's Boys - Louisa May Alcott
• I love Little Women (except for the fact that Laurie and Jo never married), so I thought this would be great. Louisa should've just let it be. It was primarily background noise and nothing I would write home about.
2. His Favorites - Kate Walbert
• I love almost anything set against the backdrop of academia, but this did not deliver. It was weird and made me uncomfortable.
3. Young Jane Young - Gabrielle Zevin
• This was my first listen of 2019, and I just didn't get the hype. I was even sadder because I love love loved her Storied Life of AJ Fikry.
4. When the Lights Go Out - Mary Kubica
• I know, right? A Kubica on the least favorites of the year? I feel like her best work was back in '15 - '16, and she hasn't returned to her state of glory. The ending left me completely unsatisfied. 
5. Home Work - Julie Andrews
• The best part of this book was the beginning, when she detailed her work on Mary Poppins & Sound of Music. After that, it just got dull, even with the drama of her personal life. It was the longest book I read of the year, and by the end, I just wanted it all to end.

I definitely have a type or types. Psychological thrillers, memoirs of folks in the White House, true crime. Those are my jam. And I feel like that's most of what I have read for the past several years, so in 2020, I am looking forward to completing my own reading challenge. 

I plan on tackling at least 12 books from each of the following categories: banned books; books written by minority authors; books that are either young adult, children's, or dystopian; and rereads from books I've either loved to read or listen to in previous years. If a book ticks off multiple categories at once, I will count it for all categories it fits (for example, one of my first TBR is Scythe, which is YA and written by a minority author, so I will count it as both). This year I plan on focusing more on quality than quantity. I am also planning on trying a few things from the Modern Mrs. Darcy Challenge for 2020. Side bar: subscribe to What Should I Read Next? It. Is. So. Good. I plan on doing more journaling of my books this year by writing down on paper what quotes I liked, the overall feel, etc. 2019 was less than kind to me. Here's to 2020 being better than I can imagine.

two sides of the same coin

Christmas has always always always been my most favorite holiday. I couldn't care less about the gifts I receive, but I love the grandeur and the celebration of it all. I love celebrating the gift of God's son. I love the traditions that my family started when I was a kid. I remember Christmas Eve nights looking at lights in our pjs while Mariah's Merry Christmas album played in the truck. I remember singing the background vocals on "Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child" with particular fervor. I remember watching A Christmas Story with Dad every year before everyone else woke up. I remember reading Luke 2 as a family before we opened gifts and the smell of Dad's homemade biscuits wafting through the den.

I now have a son who rocks those same background vocals, is enamored with Christmas lights in pjs, and thinks biscuits are a boy's best friend. Christmas really puts an exclamation point on his joy, which is saying a lot if you've ever seen him (except for that Christmas program this week...whew that was a hoot and a half and a story for an entirely different blog). The magic of the season and the celebration just tend to heighten our joy and sense of fulfillment.

But Christmas also has a way of putting an exclamation point on our grief. We're coming on our third Christmas without my father-in-law, yet it still is just as raw as the first some days. I think about what he would have wanted for Christmas, but I think the real answer is time and family. I think about how he would have reacted to our "depriving" of that boy, as he often said when we didn't spoil him right away. I can still hear his booming bass voice in my ear during the candlelight service at our church - an event he made sure never to miss once we moved up here.

He isn't the only one we are missing this year. This year, our BSD will be spending his first Christmas with another family. He will experience their traditions, their love, their celebration - even if only for this first Christmas. We will never know Christmas with him, and how my heart aches for that. My grief is someone else's joy. On the flip side of that, I also think of our precious HWD's birth family, who asked for an update at Christmas this week. They miss him as well and long to share traditions that are unique to them with him. My joy is their grief and sorrow. It's so interesting to me how the same situation causes two completely different emotions, depending on the side of the coin you're viewing.

I was sharing with a friend this week that it is 100% OK not to be jolly this time of year. No one can force a particular emotion on you, and it is normal to not feel as jolly as you normally would. Loss is hard. To be frank, it sucks. There are now 2 empty seats at our Christmas celebrations, and it will never be easy to think of what the day would look like with two little boys running around our tree and creating all kinds of mayhem.

But I will be present for the son who is running around our tree creating plenty of mayhem on his own. I will see his joy, a reflection of the joy of the Lord, and I will thank the Lord that his promises are fulfilled, and that His perfect plan is enough for me. "The joy of the Lord is my strength - Nehemiah 8:10." Merry Christmas everyone.