If you look at my son, it's not hard to see his is different from me. We don't share any DNA, but boy do we share personalities, characteristics, and quirks. Nurture won that battle by a landslide. But you may not realize by looking at him that his brain works differently than yours and many others'.
We sensed that there was something slightly different about him early on. When he was an infant and toddler, he always preferred to play by himself (and to be honest, he still reverts to that often). He would fixate on objects, would spin in circles, and developed his own language to an extent ("keener" for penguin, Curious "Girge," "congraffe" for giraffe...the list is lengthy). Lotions and other "textured" things were often a no-go. Bath time was a disaster some nights unless I was in the tub with him. Any change in his expectations or routine sent him into a tailspin.
Rebekah mentioned our concerns to our first pediatrician who tried to explain it away as his just being a boy who would outgrow these behaviors. But he didn't. (No, we don't see that same doctor anymore). After some stories from school, we recently mentioned our concerns about his impulse control to out pediatrician who immediately said, "I can see that. Let's have him evaluated; you never know. It could be nothing, but it could be something worth looking into." She gave us some names, and we made phone calls to get on the schedule for an evaluation. Three months later, we finally got in to see a child psychiatrist who heard our concerns, gave his input, and sent us some rating scales to complete.
Now, I have filled out enough of these scales in my career to know how they work and what various "patterns" mean. It was clear before we even returned the scales that there would be a diagnosis of some type. It turns out our son is on the autism spectrum. Specifically, he has "broad spectrum autism disorder," what many of us knew as Asperger's Syndrome. His diagnosis is on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but it is not without its challenges. He will need speech and language therapy to overcome his communication barriers and occupational therapy to help him navigate things like play skills.
So what does this mean for us? It means we research new behavior management. It means we continue to cling tightly to our small bubble and routine while also encouraging risk with a safety net. It means we help him develop social skills to safely talk to new people and use his words. It means we help him navigate complicated emotions on his level. It means we re-evaluate some things we expect from him behaviorally. It means we will ask our loved ones for grace and understanding, especially as we navigate the days ahead. It means we continue to fiercely love this beautiful human whom we have been entrusted.
Just because my son is different, it does not mean he is less than anyone.
