best of 2021

 This was a weird year for my reading. I set some some goals that I didn't meet, but I still managed to read and listen to over 75 books this year, and many of them were exceptional. Some were new releases and some were older reads. I also appeared as a guest on What Should I Read Next, which was a true bucket list item for me. As usual, I am compiling my best of list for the year. I would love to hear your thoughts if you've read any of these or have any suggestions of what I should try to read in 2022. And yes, I did a 1A & 1B because I really couldn't choose between these. Asking me to choose my favorite Kristin Hannah book is like asking me to choose my favorite child - not gonna happen. #sophieschoice

1A. The Great Alone - Kristin Hannah. Oy vey, my heart. This one wrecked me in the best way possible. So much truth about first love, loss, and longing for home. I rooted for Leni and Cora the entire time, but I also beat my chest in frustration over the choices they made (or didn't make in some cases). TW: abusive relationships.

1B. The Four Winds - Kristin Hannah. The Dust Bowl and the Great Depression are the major backdrops here, and wow there was so much heartache, but she wrote in such a moving way that you almost don't realize it. Elsa was a true warrior full of grit, determination, and love for her kids. I borrowed a coworker's copy of this, and when I finished it on my lunch break and returned it to her, I was weeping and could not talk about it at first. A truly phenomenal read, even amidst the heartache. I do wonder who hurt Kristin Hannah in her life, though? Like, why do we have all these characters we love only to have to watch them suffer? She is a true master.

3. The President's Daughter - Bill Clinton, James Patterson. If you haven't read this duo's first collaboration - The President is Missing - it's not a must for this one to make sense, but it is helpful. In this installment, we see former President Keating's daughter Melanie get abducted by terrorists. Keating and the remaining Secret Service he has must scour the globe to find her. Throw in some blackballing from the current president who dethroned Keating, and the drama was intense. This was one of my 500+ page reads for the year, but it never felt long. I didn't ever want to stop reading this one.

4. Giver of Stars - Jojo Moyes. This one was a couple years old, but I am so glad I listened to it near the end of the school year. The story centers around the Packhorse Librarians of Kentucky, which was an actual thing in the 30s and 40s. I loved all of the main characters, and I despised one of the fathers-in-law more than I have despised a fictional character since Dolores Umbridge. There was heart, drama, and pluck all throughout this one. I enjoyed it immensely. Also - Julia Whelan. Enough said. 

5. Sooley - John Grisham. I love a lot of Grisham's work, but especially his sports stories (seriously if you haven't read Calico Joe and are a baseball fan, please add it to your TBR). Sooley is a young African basketball player who comes to the United States for a showcase and eventually gets a scholarship offer from a small school in North Carolina, mainly as a favor to his national team coach. As he struggles to adapt to college basketball and gets a chance to play, the team makes a positive turnaround and gets a bid to March Madness. Sooley is the star of the team and the tournament as they make an unexpectedly deep run. But grab your tissues. I literally gasped and wept in the car near the end because of the shock and emotion of it all. 

6. Girls with Bright Futures - Tracy Dobmeier. Mean Girls meets Guilty Admissions in this delightfully dark satire. Three vastly different moms at an elite prep school in Seattle are all vying for the last spot available at Stanford - for their daughters. They all go to extreme lengths and betray a lot of people along the way, and in the end justice was served so neatly. I had a book hangover for several days after this one and found myself continually recommending this to my friends.

7. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V.E. Schwab. Fantasy is not my usual jam (and I sort of enjoyed Schwab's magic series this year), so I was not expecting to enjoy this one, but I truly devoured it. Addie makes a deal with the devil in the 1700s to live forever, but the price she pays is that she will never be remembered by anyone she meets. Fast forward 300 years and she meets a young man in a bookstore who remembers her name the next day. Thus begins their relationship, filled with joy and heartache. Schwab expertly wove together 2 parallel yarns into a delightful tapestry that leaves you coming back for more again and again. Seriously, I would re-read this one to get those details again. The story line flashes back and forth between random eras of Addie's past and the present, so if that isn't your thing, then steer clear. Also - Julia Whelan. Enough said. Again.

8. Gentle and Lowly - Dane Ortland. This was a book that I needed in the moment I read it. Ortland takes us through Christ's heart for sufferers and sinners. He opened my eyes to so many truths in scripture about the way Christ cares for us and the way he calls us to care for others. It was a humbling and eye-opening read for sure. I will most definitely re-read it.

9. The Man Who Died Twice - Richard Osman. This was the second book in a series (Thursday Murder Club) about a group of friends in a retirement village in England who solve murders together. This one outshone the first, and we got more character development and the like. The voice of each character is so unique, and I loved the cheeky tones of the diary entries for Joyce, the "second in command" in the group. Osman is a talk show host by trade, but these stories are not at all what one would expect. I can't wait for the next one in the series.

10. Gods in Alabama - Joshilyn Jackson. This was one of Anne Bogel's bonus recommendations on my WSIRN episode, and it did not disappoint at all. Part murder mystery, part coming of age, part Southern thriller - this one checked off so many of my boxes. Anne hit the nail on the head with this one. I don't want to say much more because it will give a lot of things away. If you like Southern authors, I would highly encourage you to check this one out. I read it on paternity leave, and it has stuck with me all year. TW: sexual abuse, language.

I may not have read any books published in 1986, only read 2 "classics," and didn't meet my goal on re-reads of books I read in school, but I surpassed my goal of 50 books for the year. And just reading at all is good for me and my soul. I don't think I am going to do any challenges in 2022, and I will probably lower my reading goal because of some professional goals I plan on tackling. And that is still okay. What books did y'all love in 2021?

different, not less than

If you look at my son, it's not hard to see his is different from me. We don't share any DNA, but boy do we share personalities, characteristics, and quirks. Nurture won that battle by a landslide. But you may not realize by looking at him that his brain works differently than yours and many others'.  

We sensed that there was something slightly different about him early on. When he was an infant and toddler, he always preferred to play by himself (and to be honest, he still reverts to that often). He would fixate on objects, would spin in circles, and developed his own language to an extent ("keener" for penguin, Curious "Girge," "congraffe" for giraffe...the list is lengthy). Lotions and other "textured" things were often a no-go. Bath time was a disaster some nights unless I was in the tub with him. Any change in his expectations or routine sent him into a tailspin.

Rebekah mentioned our concerns to our first pediatrician who tried to explain it away as his just being a boy who would outgrow these behaviors. But he didn't. (No, we don't see that same doctor anymore). After some stories from school, we recently mentioned our concerns about his impulse control to out pediatrician who immediately said, "I can see that. Let's have him evaluated; you never know. It could be nothing, but it could be something worth looking into." She gave us some names, and we made phone calls to get on the schedule for an evaluation. Three months later, we finally got in to see a child psychiatrist who heard our concerns, gave his input, and sent us some rating scales to complete.

Now, I have filled out enough of these scales in my career to know how they work and what various "patterns" mean. It was clear before we even returned the scales that there would be a diagnosis of some type. It turns out our son is on the autism spectrum. Specifically, he has "broad spectrum autism disorder," what many of us knew as Asperger's Syndrome. His diagnosis is on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but it is not without its challenges. He will need speech and language therapy to overcome his communication barriers and occupational therapy to help him navigate things like play skills.

So what does this mean for us? It means we research new behavior management. It means we continue to cling tightly to our small bubble and routine while also encouraging risk with a safety net. It means we help him develop social skills to safely talk to new people and use his words. It means we help him navigate complicated emotions on his level. It means we re-evaluate some things we expect from him behaviorally. It means we will ask our loved ones for grace and understanding, especially as we navigate the days ahead. It means we continue to fiercely love this beautiful human whom we have been entrusted. 

Just because my son is different, it does not mean he is less than anyone. 

ripple effects

One small pebble in a pond creates ripples on the surface that change the makeup of the pond - in ways both seen and unseen. One seemingly small decision, one prayer uttered, one email can all change your life and potentially the lives of others. These events all have impacts that last beyond that initial drop of the pebble. You can literally change generations of your family by responding yes to a simple email. 

9 years ago today: We said "I do" at a lovely lakeside ceremony surrounded by our family and dearest friends. The Lord orchestrated so many events leading to that day and in the days that followed - including moving up our wedding date 7 months so we could focus on each other. As we adjusted to married life, we learned that having a family would take "more than typical boy meets girl activities," as my bride would say. The Lord had been stirring her heart toward adoption for years (even before we met), and He began to stir mine toward it as well.

6 years ago today: We had done our research and started fundraising. We submitted our application to adopt on our 3rd anniversary, since Alabama law requires at least 3 years of marriage before an adoption. We had a simple dinner at home, brewed some coffee, and clicked submit to God's will for our family.

5 years ago today: We were on our way to Fish Market to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Our emailed pinged with this message from a case worker at our agency.

Before we opened it, we prayed for guidance and direction (as we always did) as we drove. Rebekah read the summary aloud, and I could almost audibly hear the Holy Spirit asking me, "Do you trust me?" You see, this summary was for a boy who was 8 days old and didn't "sound" 100% on paper. We continued to pray over it and discuss it at dinner. We asked our closest circle of friends to agree with us in prayer. The next morning, we said yes to being shown to this birth mother. 5 days later, we received the call that we had been matched with this precious baby boy and would meet him in 3 days. He was healthy and perfectly crafted by a holy God. He had no concerns after leaving the hospital and being placed in interim care. 5 years later, he is still the perfect fit for our family.

Today: Life looks a lot different than it did 9 years ago. We have laughed and laughed way more than we have cried. We have moved schools a few-ish times and changed jobs. We have gone on big and small adventures and loved each other well. We have faced the loss of loved ones and the devastation of a failed adoption yet survived - only because of the Lord. We have expanded our family once more through the miracle of adoption. We have been blessed beyond measure. Anniversary dinners aren't fancy at this stage of life. Tonight, we watched our boy at gymnastics class and then went to a casual dinner as a family of 4. What was going to be a Mexican outing thanks to my forgetting a necessary ingredient for our crock pot dinner ended up at our beloved Full Moon (site of our pre-meeting HWD, just got home with HWD, and celebrating matching with WRD dinners - so it all works out). We recounted our highs and lows, rejoiced over the goodness of the Lord, and of course threw down on some "parpecue." It could not have been more perfect, even if it wasn't what was planned.

Every decision you make has ripple effects. I pray that the ripples we have seen are long-lasting, far-reaching, and God-glorifying.