One of the first books I listened to this year was The Dutch House by Ann Patchett. The audio is narrated by Tom Hanks, and it is everything you would want from a Patchett - Hanks combo. One of the lines that stood out to me is, "The point wasn't whether or not I liked it. The point was it HAD to be done." After all that we endured and came through last year, that quote just resonated with me and has almost been a guiding principle in a way.
Don't we all have things in our lives that we don't like doing, but we know they have to be done. Sometimes it may be going to work, or providing care for an ailing loved one, or simply cleaning out the closet of the old nursery. I'm sure you all can guess which of those three fits my current situation. My mom is coming up this weekend to celebrate our big boy's birthday (what started as family and school friends has now dwindled to only immediate family, which was a whole other had-to-be-done moment), and the play room needs to have the guest bed brought back in.
The process of preparing for my mom's arrival was the perfect time to finally move the nursery items back to the attic. And man, was that tough. We left the nursery items in that room for the majority of 2019 in hopes that we would match again, but we converted it back into a playroom at the beginning of 2020 when we put our adoption on temporary hold. For the past few months, all of the nursery items and clothes have still been in that dresser and in that closet - lingering, waiting, almost taunting me in a way. I have gotten overwhelmed with the toys in there, the layout, so many tiny things to the point of my not wanting to be in there.
Rebekah suggested that I work on cleaning out and storing things in the attic today. I could then move some of those things into the closet and organize some things in the dresser. It was tough. It was so very tough on me emotionally. But, it was also so sweet. I played The Messiah on vinyl while HWD played and played in the room. I showed him where things were going to go now, and he loved it. We played in there and just laughed and enjoyed each other before we did our dinner prep and ate lunch.
The point was not whether or not I liked moving all of those precious, tiny clothes into the attic. The point was it had to be done for the betterment of the family I have now.
In the midst of this quarantine business, I have realized / solidified the fact that preschool teaching is not my spiritual gift. Shout out to Ms. Shea for loving my crazy kid at school every day, and for loving on a room full of kids like him. I have also had extreme clarity in these past 11 days of how 1 child is truly all I could handle at this time. Funny how God always knows what he's up to in those cases. And isn't funny how we can be hurting and growing at the same time? The Lord knows what has to be done, and He does it. Whatever your next right thing is, I pray that you have the courage to face it today - even if you don't like it. Stay safe, y'all. And wash yo hands!
