It's been a month to the day since our profile has "officially" been released for viewing. Y'all, this is tough. We've spent so much time in prayer over this birth mother that will choose us and this precious baby that will one day be ours. We have entrusted our hearts and our plans to God, but nothing can really prepare you for the waiting. The waiting has indeed been blessed, as we've gotten to do things that are "just" us. But it's also really really - really - tough.
It's difficult to actually put that faith and trust into action. It's tough knowing that with the holidays approaching, we will be faced with numerous questions of, "When are we getting a baby?" and having to answer, "We have no idea." It's tough being Captain Type-A and not being able to plan even the next month because of the unknown. It's tough being told that this birth mother was a no. It's trying to pretend to keep it all together. And maybe I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to have all of the answers. Sometimes it's tough to admit that.
I was telling one of my dearest friends about the latest "no" we received, and he quickly reminded me of all of the things I have to be grateful for: a home with space for this baby, a wife who loves Jesus first and foremost, jobs with which we can support this baby, a close-knit group of friends who will support us on this journey, the sheer amount of fundraising we've been able to do in the past 15 months. He reminded me of Psalm 126:3, "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Woah - that one hit me right in the teeth.
You see, I have so very much for which to be grateful - the fact that two birth mothers have chosen life in their circumstances; the greatest support system I could even dream of; a social worker who prays for us daily and updates us constantly of the progress; the sheer number of people who have invested their finances, time, and prayers into us; a nursery that we could literally use tonight if we had to. I could go on for days of the things for which I am grateful within our adoption.
Outside of our adoption, my list is just as long. I am grateful for truly the greatest school district in the country, a group of coworkers there who have my back in all things and can't wait to meet the newest member of our little math-nerd family, the same scenario in my wife's school, two families who love us and our future child beyond my wildest imagination, friends who speak truth into my life when I need it the most, a God who blesses me beyond what I deserve. And I am thankful that each "no" is just a stepping stone on the path to His best "yes." Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015
silly shonda
Dearest Shonda Rhimes,
Last night, you lost a fan. And not just a fan but a super fan. A fan who had seen every single episode of Scandal and could hold a rousing discussion on the merits of this move by Olivia over that move. A fan who begged for the return of Jake as Olivia's man over Fitz. A fan who remembers watching the very first episode (which was so poorly shot and wardrobed by comparison) in the hotel room with his dad the night before his own wedding. A fan who would binge watch old episodes just for fun. A fan who is currently writing this blog from the future nursery of the baby that he and his wife have prayed for fervently for years and are currently waiting to adopt. And he has had enough.
You see, I sat by for too long without speaking out about the atrocities of some of the content of his beloved show because I just wanted to keep up with the times and be able to have those aforementioned conversations with my friends and family members. I endured the torrid love affairs of famous-fixer-Olivia on a weekly basis. I stood by and watched as all the characters seemed to show no evidence of possessing a moral compass. I cheered every time Papa Pope's plans were foiled. I acted as if these characters were real people whom I knew - and that's probably going too far on my behalf. All in the name of entertainment. And for that, I only have myself to blame.
I stayed up late (an accomplishment in itself) for the touted winter finale. I enjoyed my Thursday ironing rituals as I prepared myself for what was surely to be a life-changing episode. And truth be told, it did change my life. But not in the way that I expected. I sat on the couch beside my wife who has been tirelessly working her book business to help raise funds to bring home this baby we have been praying and dreaming of. And then the unthinkable happened. I mean, we all know that you are always on the forefront of the social issues of the day, so I guess it really isn't that unthinkable.
As Mellie filibustered for days and days just to keep her Planned Parenthood funding around (and let's be honest, I didn't need another reason to despise her fried-chicken-eating crazy self), I never dreamed you would take your stance one step further. What happened in that doctor's office sickened me to a new level. I instantly felt my face flush and my blood pressure rise. In that instant, Olivia Pope became a statistic - joining more 700,000 US women who have not chosen life (latest statistics only are available through 2011). Edited to add: Black women are nearly 4 times as likely (they make up 13% of the population, yet account for 37% of all abortions) to abort than non-hispanic white women. Considering the fact that many young girls, especially African-American ones, view Olivia as a role model, this is particularly troubling. And my lovely wife grabbed the remote, pressed stop, and then erased the recording.
You see, we drew a line in the sand last night. I can't continue to support something that sickens me to the core all in the name of entertainment. How convenient for you to choose to promote how lives matter when you wanted to pull from the police-shoot-innocent-boy headlines. But strange how this unborn child didn't matter enough to warrant a chance to become something. Shonda, you are indeed a gifted storyteller, and I can only imagine the great story you would've woven from this birth - fast forward 30 years and imagine what he or she really could've done for the world. But nope, that wouldn't have advanced your leftist agenda. And heaven surely forbid we don't provide these contraceptive services to women "in need." And let's be honest, as wealthy as Olivia is, she could have afforded some good birth control (it's the only way this hasn't happened in the first 4.5 seasons as much as she gets around).
When you go through the trials of infertility, any one who would willingly end the life of a child instantly affects you. You think of all the things you could have said to her to change her mind. You wonder if you could have done anything at all to influence her decision. When you are waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, these feelings are amplified. I can't help but think of what a fantastic story adoption would have made. Why didn't that become an option (since apparently Olivia actually birthing the President's baby wasn't even on the table)? Abby has really gotten her life together (in my oh so humble opinion) and would have made a fantastic mother. Or some random couple from somewhere in America - not even a series regular. Adoption paints such a beautiful portrait of the Gospel and redemption in Christ. It isn't a "final" option or last resort, but it should have been the only option in this case. Life matters. From conception to death. End of story.
You see, Shonda, had you chosen to weave in an adoption story, you would have had at least 2 even-more-devoted fans in this household. We would have shouted your praises from the rooftops and pointed to the ways that adoption is finally becoming part of the mainstream conversation. (And don't try to use Cyrus and James' adoption so many seasons ago as a valid reason of your doing that. It was merely convenient for you considering their status and circumstance.) In no way am I trying to vilify or indemnify you. I just want to express my deep hurt over this choice. In any way was it necessary? Did it move the plot (that has been centered on Olitz for far-too-long anyway, while we're at it) forward in any way? My answer is certainly and unequivocally no. And I am sad to say, my obsession with Scandal has ended. But hey, at least I can go to bed earlier on Thursdays now.
Sincerely,
Future Father
Last night, you lost a fan. And not just a fan but a super fan. A fan who had seen every single episode of Scandal and could hold a rousing discussion on the merits of this move by Olivia over that move. A fan who begged for the return of Jake as Olivia's man over Fitz. A fan who remembers watching the very first episode (which was so poorly shot and wardrobed by comparison) in the hotel room with his dad the night before his own wedding. A fan who would binge watch old episodes just for fun. A fan who is currently writing this blog from the future nursery of the baby that he and his wife have prayed for fervently for years and are currently waiting to adopt. And he has had enough.
You see, I sat by for too long without speaking out about the atrocities of some of the content of his beloved show because I just wanted to keep up with the times and be able to have those aforementioned conversations with my friends and family members. I endured the torrid love affairs of famous-fixer-Olivia on a weekly basis. I stood by and watched as all the characters seemed to show no evidence of possessing a moral compass. I cheered every time Papa Pope's plans were foiled. I acted as if these characters were real people whom I knew - and that's probably going too far on my behalf. All in the name of entertainment. And for that, I only have myself to blame.
I stayed up late (an accomplishment in itself) for the touted winter finale. I enjoyed my Thursday ironing rituals as I prepared myself for what was surely to be a life-changing episode. And truth be told, it did change my life. But not in the way that I expected. I sat on the couch beside my wife who has been tirelessly working her book business to help raise funds to bring home this baby we have been praying and dreaming of. And then the unthinkable happened. I mean, we all know that you are always on the forefront of the social issues of the day, so I guess it really isn't that unthinkable.
As Mellie filibustered for days and days just to keep her Planned Parenthood funding around (and let's be honest, I didn't need another reason to despise her fried-chicken-eating crazy self), I never dreamed you would take your stance one step further. What happened in that doctor's office sickened me to a new level. I instantly felt my face flush and my blood pressure rise. In that instant, Olivia Pope became a statistic - joining more 700,000 US women who have not chosen life (latest statistics only are available through 2011). Edited to add: Black women are nearly 4 times as likely (they make up 13% of the population, yet account for 37% of all abortions) to abort than non-hispanic white women. Considering the fact that many young girls, especially African-American ones, view Olivia as a role model, this is particularly troubling. And my lovely wife grabbed the remote, pressed stop, and then erased the recording.
You see, we drew a line in the sand last night. I can't continue to support something that sickens me to the core all in the name of entertainment. How convenient for you to choose to promote how lives matter when you wanted to pull from the police-shoot-innocent-boy headlines. But strange how this unborn child didn't matter enough to warrant a chance to become something. Shonda, you are indeed a gifted storyteller, and I can only imagine the great story you would've woven from this birth - fast forward 30 years and imagine what he or she really could've done for the world. But nope, that wouldn't have advanced your leftist agenda. And heaven surely forbid we don't provide these contraceptive services to women "in need." And let's be honest, as wealthy as Olivia is, she could have afforded some good birth control (it's the only way this hasn't happened in the first 4.5 seasons as much as she gets around).
When you go through the trials of infertility, any one who would willingly end the life of a child instantly affects you. You think of all the things you could have said to her to change her mind. You wonder if you could have done anything at all to influence her decision. When you are waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, these feelings are amplified. I can't help but think of what a fantastic story adoption would have made. Why didn't that become an option (since apparently Olivia actually birthing the President's baby wasn't even on the table)? Abby has really gotten her life together (in my oh so humble opinion) and would have made a fantastic mother. Or some random couple from somewhere in America - not even a series regular. Adoption paints such a beautiful portrait of the Gospel and redemption in Christ. It isn't a "final" option or last resort, but it should have been the only option in this case. Life matters. From conception to death. End of story.
You see, Shonda, had you chosen to weave in an adoption story, you would have had at least 2 even-more-devoted fans in this household. We would have shouted your praises from the rooftops and pointed to the ways that adoption is finally becoming part of the mainstream conversation. (And don't try to use Cyrus and James' adoption so many seasons ago as a valid reason of your doing that. It was merely convenient for you considering their status and circumstance.) In no way am I trying to vilify or indemnify you. I just want to express my deep hurt over this choice. In any way was it necessary? Did it move the plot (that has been centered on Olitz for far-too-long anyway, while we're at it) forward in any way? My answer is certainly and unequivocally no. And I am sad to say, my obsession with Scandal has ended. But hey, at least I can go to bed earlier on Thursdays now.
Sincerely,
Future Father
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