grateful

It's been a month to the day since our profile has "officially" been released for viewing. Y'all, this is tough. We've spent so much time in prayer over this birth mother that will choose us and this precious baby that will one day be ours. We have entrusted our hearts and our plans to God, but nothing can really prepare you for the waiting. The waiting has indeed been blessed, as we've gotten to do things that are "just" us. But it's also really really - really - tough. 

It's difficult to actually put that faith and trust into action. It's tough knowing that with the holidays approaching, we will be faced with numerous questions of, "When are we getting a baby?" and having to answer, "We have no idea." It's tough being Captain Type-A and not being able to plan even the next month because of the unknown. It's tough being told that this birth mother was a no. It's trying to pretend to keep it all together. And maybe I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to have all of the answers. Sometimes it's tough to admit that.

I was telling one of my dearest friends about the latest "no" we received, and he quickly reminded me of all of the things I have to be grateful for: a home with space for this baby, a wife who loves Jesus first and foremost, jobs with which we can support this baby, a close-knit group of friends who will support us on this journey, the sheer amount of fundraising we've been able to do in the past 15 months. He reminded me of Psalm 126:3, "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Woah - that one hit me right in the teeth. 

You see, I have so very much for which to be grateful - the fact that two birth mothers have chosen life in their circumstances; the greatest support system I could even dream of; a social worker who prays for us daily and updates us constantly of the progress; the sheer number of people who have invested their finances, time, and prayers into us; a nursery that we could literally use tonight if we had to. I could go on for days of the things for which I am grateful within our adoption.

Outside of our adoption, my list is just as long. I am grateful for truly the greatest school district in the country, a group of coworkers there who have my back in all things and can't wait to meet the newest member of our little math-nerd family, the same scenario in my wife's school, two families who love us and our future child beyond my wildest imagination, friends who speak truth into my life when I need it the most, a God who blesses me beyond what I deserve. And I am thankful that each "no" is just a stepping stone on the path to His best "yes." Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!